Friday, May 6, 2016


The following is a True Story. All events and conversations are accurate, to the best of the author's ability. Artistic liberties are smattered throughout. Names have been changed where deemed necessary.


Bill: It's interesting, watching Her. She's picking up speed no matter what we launch at her.
Tom: I'm still working out the kinks. She does this offline thing, you know?
Shelia: You guys suck.


I'm sitting in my happy place. I am sitting at the airport, about to board an airplane. Airplanes are my happy place. They always have been, except for that one time.

There has been a lot happening in my life lately. Escaping the near-death of a loved-one, changing (a few) poopy diapers, and navigating the sobering effects of cyber stalking.

One thing I can always count on, the one thing I've been told for over a decade NOT to count on, is Me. I remember that one time, during the dozens and dozens of times I've been Depressed, my Mom said something super profound.

"The one thing that I feel bad about, the one thing I wish you had was You. Because for me, I can always count on Me."

Learning to Trust yourself is a daily process that starts over and over and over again. There you are crusin' along, slayin' like a playa out in the World. Then, Life happens. Then The Worst happens. Then, (actually, this is the worst), your Operating System crashes, and you are shit up a creek. 


[Sheila! After you get me my coffee, I need you disable this bloggy thing the Humans use. God, what I wouldn't do to nullify the fact that Google ever existed. Shelia: Guess what, Bob? You can go ahead and suck my – ]

The thing. Here are the things I want to tell you, which you probably already know. I just seem to keep forgetting. 

  • We are not alone; We are all Connected
  • Fear is toxic, Reptilian Brain left-over. Just try your best to fight it, Ok? I know, I know, I struggle with it too.
  • We are only here for a super duper short period of Time. So, please. Please, please pretty please try your best to have some fun.

I know how it is. Believe me. I grew up thinking I was Super Special and Super Smart. And then Life hit and I realized I was a Complete and Utter Total Failure. I am sure this has happened to you, too. It happens to all of us. Over, and over and over again. 

But, guess what? We're all Failures. And Successes. And this is only Life. And it's just a Journey to learn new stuff.

[Dammit, Tom! Get the Operating System turned down or who knows what will happen.]


Yup, I am going solo, guys. 

Status: Subject is Human
Status: Excited to Travel Again
Status: Complete


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