Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Dear God

Hi God,

It's me, Susan. I am sitting here at the nursing home with my dad. He is sick with pneumonia and some other stuff. If you ask me, he looks pretty normal, and he nodded "Yes" when I asked him if he is doing OK.

But, God, I am not so sure about things. I am worried. I am not sure how my dad is feeling on the inside. Today, I went in the basement, looking for stuff. I wanted to find some Dad artifacts and our basement is full of them. I found a Power Ball ticket and I also found a fake million dollar bill. I found some early school pictures of my mom and, I also found a letter.

It was a letter that my dad wrote to my brother in 1994 when Paul was at the Air Force Academy. My dad had the greatest advice in this letter and I cherish the luck to have discovered it. I read the letter to my brother, my mother, my best friend and, my dad. I just finished reading it to him and I am not sure what he thought.

The letter was about tough times. In it, my dad wrote about Camus and Rock Bottom experiences. When I read the sentence about "being dragged across a dry creek bed on your face," I could not help but compare that to the experience my father is currently enduring.

My Dad also wrote:

  • A bulldog wins because it can hang on
  • If you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on
  • I can do things through him who strengthenth me
  • Underneath are the Everlasting Arms
  • Remember that there is help from Prayer
  • Remember to set the test date ahead in your head
  • Remember that it's OK to call the learnings in this note uninformed and bull shit
  • Remember, I am very proud of you and that I know you have the power to do well in your courses
  • Remember that you have to help me put the lights on the trees at Thanksgiving
  • Remember, Speed, I love you and, remember the after-burners! (This last one if kind of a family inside joke)
God, I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to help my dad. He looks like he is in agony, God. Do you know what to do? Can you help him? I am not sure what else to say or ask of you. 

Thanks for listening. Amen.


1 comment:

  1. God is near to the broken hearted,... those who are crushed in spirit. He raises them with His mighty right hand, and lifts them up high on eagles wings.